Adoption

China Sisters: Holly, Emily, Jada, Persey, Hannah, Kyra, Hannah and Sara

Our story of adoption starts with the pain of infertility.  

Almost every young person thinks they will become a parent someday.  After Steve and I got married and decided to have a baby, things didn't go as we always thought they would.  Testing showed that I had a medical issue that could keep us from having a biological child.  Month after month was a reminder of shattered dreams... Actually, that's not even true.  Every day was a reminder of shattered dreams and a reminder for me that my body couldn't do what it was created to do.  Never knowing when something would put me back into the pit...seeing a baby at the mall, learning that someone had their 5th baby, hearing a celebrity had a baby they didn't plan on.  It is heart-wrentching.  People who haven't gone through infertility offer advice... "Just relax" or "Go on a vacation", like its not a medical issue.  People who don't know ask, "When are you two going to have children?" or "Isn't it time for you to have children?".  Night after night crying myself to sleep asking God, "Why?"  Steve did his best to offer support but even he didn't understand the depths of my pain.  Doctor appointments, surgeries, medication, and finally!  Our pregnancy test is positive!  Shale was born on April 25, 1998.  Our first child!  The best day!

Infertility.  God's gift to us.  To be able to tell our son how hard we worked to have him; how much he was wanted.

Another child?  Do we have the strength to go through all of it again?

Adoption.  TIME magazine highlighted the plight of Chinese girls who were being abandoned because of the goverment's One-Child Policy.  The photo on the cover showed a little girl left to die in the woods.  I had tucked this magazine away when we were going through our first round of infertility and as I picked it up again I knew that this was what our next step should be.  Paperwork, paperwork and more paperwork.  Fingerprints, medical checks, social worker visits, and questions like: how would you discipline your child if.., describe your upbringing, how close do you live to a mall?  

Then waiting.  Waiting and wondering if our child has yet been born on the other side of the world.  

Praying that she's being cared for in the orphanage. Praying that she will be held, Praying that she will feel loved.  Missing her when we don't even know....anything.  How can our hearts be so attached to someone we have never seen or met?  The time seems to be nearing and then, SARS.  A stop on all adoptions in China.  I felt like my heart stopped on that day.   We had already been in this for two years.  How can they stop all adoptions?  Doesn't anyone care that our little girl is laying in a bed in an orphanage somewhere waiting for someone to love her?  She's all alone and her family is here.  

A month later SARS was gone and we could wait again.  
July 3, 2003.  I open email and see others in our adoption agency's email group are being matched to their babies!  Standing by the computer and the phone as I wait to find out if we're next.  The phone rings and the kind voice says, "Congratulations, you have a daughter!"  Laughing and crying at the same time while her photo appears on the computer and she is our beautiful girl!  We left for China on Sept 10, 2003, and met up with seven other waiting couples/families from around the US.  Getting to know each other, touring and sightseeing before babies.  Finally we all file into a government building and one-by-one our names are called and our daughters are handed to us!  On Sept 14, 2003, Jada was placed in our arms!  The best day!

Adoption.  God's gift to us.  To be able to tell our daughter how hard we worked to have her; how much she was wanted.

We all left China hoping that maybe someday we could all be together again, that maybe someday our eight daughters would know each other.

China Sisters.  Our extended family.  Now, every two years the eight families meet somewhere in the U.S. so that our daughters, who are not biological but lived in that same orphanage in China, will know and love their sisters as they grow.  So that they, along with our families can have this beautiful, unique, wonderful extended family that we love and cherish so much! 

If you've ever experienced the heartbreak of infertility, my heart breaks for you and I pray for you as I write.

We support Show Hope.  If you've ever felt a desire to adopt and change the life of a child at risk but need financial help, please visit their website at showhope.org.

Brandy Siewert
Co-Founder of Java Relief